THE HONEYMOON IS OVER FOR MARISSA

The Honeymoon Is Over For Marissa

stockholderowl

The honeymoon is over,
And Mayer hasn’t shown,
any of the past success
Yahoo once had known.

The search function is iffy,
the mail works when it wants,
and sometimes when in Imap,
it hunts and hunts and hunts.

Groups have been dismantled,
the functions are a mess,
tons of data have been lost,
to everyone’s distress.

Nothing works correctly,
photos are all scrambled,
data bases decimated,
while Mayer sat and rambled,

“How wonderful the new design
would be for one and all.”
Without a clue that Yahoo
was so destined for a fall.

The core services have been destroyed,
the fight is nearly lost,
and it won’t be ’till the bitter end,
that the investors learn the cost.

Someone help us stop her,
before it is too late,
Save what’s left of Yahoo,
fix it’s muddled state.

Or the glory it once knew,
will fade into the air,
just because Marissa,
simply doesn’t care.

By Nightowl >8#
October 28, 2014

Owner/Moderator  of the
Yahoo Crusade Headquarters Blog.

For a complete index of this blog go here:
https://modsandmembersblog.wordpress.com/index/

 

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Advertisers, Your Ship is Sinking!

yatanic2

ADVERTISERS, YOUR SHIP IS SINKING!

We want to warn you
There’s trouble ahead.
If nothing is done,
Yahoo groups will be dead.

The Yatanic is sinking,
And thousands have gone,*
The rest of us there
Are just trying to hang on!

Groups being deleted,
Memberships cleared;
It’s so much worse
Than we originally feared!

So tell Ms. Marissa
To plug up the leak,
And give back the Classic
Groups that we seek.

Cause we all want nothing
To do with NEO,
And we’re actively searching
For somewhere to go.

So if you want users
To click on your ad,
Tell Yahoo Admin
That Neo is BAD

Unless it’s rolled back,
Your products will find
That we just won’t buy them;
We won’t change our mind.

We’ve set up our lifeboats;
Our departure is set,
But you still have some time…
We’ve not all left…yet.

By Nightowl >8#
September 11, 2013

http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/modsandmembers/

*Source for the number of Yahoo users leavingas of 9/11/13:
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/modsandmembers/message/3552

My Yahoo Dream

yahoodreamOwlsy,

This was posted by one of the members of my support group.  She gave me permission to share it with you, and wherever it might help, such as the blog.  Took me awhile to edit out all the junk characters, so I hope Yahoo doesn’t put them back in.

Donna D

—————————-

From: Judith
Subject: My Yahoo Dream
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 2013

My Yahoo Dream

Just as I was about to wake up this morning, while still in that middle territory between sleep and being fully awake, I had the following dream:

We [support] group members were sitting with each other face-to-face in a large circle inside a large room. It seemed that we were having a live group therapy session, something which is a private function intended for group members only and with strict rules about confidentiality. All of a sudden a bunch of clowns from yahoo came bursting into our supposedly private room. They were setting up lighting cables and cameras and sound systems. A member of our group, who had just started to share her story before these outsiders burst in on us, was waved on by the yahoo intrusion team and told, “Go on; pretend you don’t see us here.”

So the woman started to weep and speak about how her husband was leaving her for a younger woman from his office. As soon as she said that, Yahoo drones flashed a giant ad for match.com on the wall opposite the woman, so that the weeping woman could meet attractive singles in her area. A loud sound track accompanied the flashing photos of men. “Hi, I’m Troy. I like foxy older women.” “My name is Enrico. Are you my hot tamale?”

The woman wept more inconsolably as the roster of available studs flashed across the wall; the yahoo clowns were totally oblivious to the woman’s emotional distress. Next the large screen advertised a product to visibly reduce the signs of aging on the weeping woman’s face so that she could make herself more appealing to Troy and Enrico, while at the same time she helped generate more targeted advertising dollars for yahoo.

This was truly a win-win scenario according to the yahoo intrusion team. While the ads were flashing on the wall, and we literally were drowned out by them and could not hear each other speak, the yahoo sound system was broadcasting very loud cash register ka-ching! sounds as ad revenue came rolling in and was counted. Figures were flashed up on the wall in bright lights, rather like a Jerry Lewis Telethon.

As a couple more brave souls attempted to share their stories in the spirit of our original group, more ads aimed at them and their shares were flashed onto the walls, again drowning them out. After a few more attempts to be there for each other in our group turned out this same way, we silently stood up, joined hands, and exited the room, leaving the clowns from yahoo perplexed as their revenue stream fell to zero.

No more ka-chings! could be heard. The silence in the room was deafening. The yahoo clowns flashed confused looks to each other. Was that the way we were going to show our appreciation for the new, enhanced yahoo experience that they had crafted for us?

It would have been wonderful to wake up and say, “Wow! That was awful! Thank God it was only a dream.”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

Roxanne

Neo Came A’Knockin’ on My Door, Too!

neocouchowl

I wouldn’t have let him in, but he barged right past me, grabbed a soda outta my fridge, plopped his rear on my living room couch, and refused to leave, despite my asking him to do so.

The rest of my family is beyond annoyed at him, too. He’s gone through all of their closets and drawers, has scattered their belongings throughout, and has made a general mess of things.

It seems this squatter is intent upon staying, and the powers that be won’t respond to our distress. I’m thinkin’ I’ll have to abandon my house to this interloper and move elsewhere. My family is in favour of us doing so if the authorities don’t come and give this guy the boot, and soon!

By Paul & Deb
Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:02 am

Twelve Weeks of Neo

Owl Christmas 2b

On the First Day of Neo,
My Yahoo “launched” to me
Their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Second Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Third Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Fourth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Fifth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Sixth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Seventh Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Eighth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Eight more weeks of ignoring user feedback,
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Ninth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Nine plus ninety-nine advertisements in my group pages,
Eight more pages of ignored user feedback,
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Tenth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Ten hours of Classic Groups before taking my Firefox plug-in away,
Nine plus ninety-nine advertisements in my group pages,
Eight more pages of ignored user feedback,
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Eleventh Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Eleven responses that there was no way to change back to Classic,
Ten hours of Classic Groups before taking my Firefox plug-in away,
Nine plus ninety-nine advertisements in my group pages,
Eight more pages of ignored user feedback,
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

On the Twelfth Week of Neo,
My Yahoo sent to me
Twelve weeks of heartache and forced closures of my groups,
Eleven responses that there was no way to change back to Classic,
Ten hours of Classic Groups before taking my Firefox plug-in away,
Nine plus ninety-nine advertisements in my group pages,
Eight more weeks of ignoring user feedback,
Seven new updates that still don’t work,
Six thousand messages on one page,
Five days of not getting into my groups so I can’t moderate,
Four technical support representatives who knew not what to do,
Three reassurances of things getting better,
Two major headaches,
And their first update for a great new group that wasn’t going to be.

(Hey, how come everyone’s not singing?  Aren’t you all happy ???)

D. L. Smith

Groups of Many Colors

coloredowl

This song is a tribute of sorts to the temporarily missing Yahoo Groups Classic interface; I say temporarily missing because I believe that Yahoo will realize that Neo is, and has been since the beginning, a waste of development time and will restore Classic in some form to us. I wrote most of the song in a few hours’ time while at work, though part of it simply would not come to me, and I finally asked Nightowl for some advice on how to complete the song; I thank her for the wording she suggested and have tried to keep everything correct. The tune I wrote it for is the Dolly Parton classic, “Coat of Many Colors.”

Back through the years
I go wandering once again,
Back to the seasons of Yahoo!
I recall the Clubs and Groups that they gave us
And how Owners put those Groups to use.
There were Groups of many colors
and they started small,
But there were no problems then
Cause Yahoo! loved them all.
We gathered all together
to build our homes with love,
And our groups of many colors
that we were so proud of.

One morning when I woke up,
I found my group had changed
Gone were the many colors
I’d so carefully arranged.
My Group it lay in ruins;
It destroyed my happiness,
And my heart just sank to see it
Cause it was quite a mess.

The Groups of Many Colors
that neo took away from me
Made only with love
and we gave it so gladly.
Although we made no money,
we were happy as can be
With our groups of many colors
that neo took away from me.

With a great deal of frustration
and determined fortitude,
For my groups of many colors
I headed for the great Yahoo
And found many more like me complaining
to them “uselessly”
about the groups of many colors
neo took away from me.
Yahoo couldn’t understand
why I was being such a stick
Although I told of all the love
in every single click.
I sadly read the stories of groups
and why they closed
And how our groups of many colors
were worth more than “cold neo.”

They couldn’t understand
though we try to make them see,
Yahoo will be poor
if all Group users leave.
Although we make no money,
we’re happy as can be
With our groups of many colors
that neo took away from me.
Yes, we’re all “me.”

YATANIC, ICEBERG! NOW WE’RE SINKING!

yatanic2It was the year 2010,
And we’d had a long fight.
But VP Jim Stoneham
Saved us from our plight

He made us a promise
That wonderful day,
And told us our Classic Groups
Could stay!

We’d barely missed the iceberg
The first time around
And all breathed a sigh
When we didn’t run aground.

We’d had smooth sailing,
And life was just grand
But we didn’t know,
Yahoo’s sinister plan

So one day we woke up
To sheer devastation
And found what they’d done
To our own creation!

Our home page pictures
Had all  been replaced,
And that was just one of
The horrors we faced!

Our photos were scrambled
Our archives were gone
Moderation was broken,
I could go on and on….

At first we were puzzled,
Cause we didn’t know
What was going on,
So off did we go

To the Feedback thread,
There to voice our concern,
And ask what had happened,
The answers to learn.

It took them some time,
To finally admit,
You’re part of a test,
And you’re stuck in it.

A test? we all cried,
None of us had,
Agreed to be part of,
And they said, too bad.

Then the complaints
Grew to thousands of posts
As more and more members
Racked up the votes,

“Say no to Neo,”
We all shouted as one,
But no one listened
And nothing was done.

As time went on,
We learned just how bad
This Neo mess was,
And that we’d all been had.

This interface failed
For the sick and disabled,
It caused them such stress,
Their groups were all tabled

And the elderly cried,
“What on earth are you thinking?
We can’t manage this,
And our spirits are sinking!”

The comments were mounting,
In the feedback thread,
And many just left, cause
Their groups were all dead.

Then they started deserting,
In the thousands they left,
Deleting their groups,
And feeling bereft.

I saw this disaster,
And called out to them,
Hey, come on over,
Let’s try this again!

So like before, members
All flocked to my group,
And I  made them a plan,
To get them in the loop.

E-mail the execs,
And write the CEO,
Just tell them to stop,
This awful NEO

Then we sent US mail,
E-mailed and tweeted,
Facebooked them too,
But our pleas were not heeded.

So we readied our lifeboats,
And made some hard choices,
In case no one listened
To all of our voices

And now we stand ready
To leave if we must
And let them destroy
Our groups into dust….

But we’re still holding on
To that hope, dare we think,
Because if we don’t,
The Yatanic will sink!

By Nightowl >8#                      September 9, 2013

Owner of http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/modsandmembers/